Category Archives: Shorts

August 6, 2021  Shady Lane Homeowner’s Association  666 River Oaks Drive  Houston, Tx  77019  To: Stetson McGrath         Owner, McGrath Lawn Maintenance Services  Re: Excessive Noise By McGrath Lawn Maintenance Services Crews  The Shady Lane Homeowners Association has received numerous complaints from our residents regarding excessive noise generated by your service crews, namely the noise generated by their leaf blowers. They are annoying enough duringContinue reading “Leaf Blowhards”

Taylor stood naked in front of a full-length mirror. Okay baby, she told herself, time to get ready for a walk on the wild side.   From the bottom up, easy as she goes.  First, she pulled on a red lace thong. There, that’s a good start. Then she pulled up torn fishnet stockings over her long skinny legs.Continue reading “A Walk on the Wild Side”

Reconstruction to Present Day In Accordance with Texas Law 4) a teacher, administrator, or other employee of a … state agency, school district, or open-enrollment charter school may not: …(B) require or make part of a course the concept that: …  (vi)an individual, by virtue of the individuals’ race or sex, bears responsibility for actionsContinue reading “The New Revised History of the United States, Vol II”

From Columbus to the Civil War In Accordance with Texas Law (4) a teacher, administrator, or other employee of a … state agency, school district, or open-enrollment charter school may not: …(B) require or make part of a course the concept that: …  (vi)an individual, by virtue of the individual ’s race or sex, bears responsibilityContinue reading “The New Revised History of the United States”

Friends, we gather today at the God, Guns, and Patriots Rally in Dallas, Texas, to celebrate our most precious freedom – the constitutional freedom not to wear a mask during a pandemic, and in remembrance of Ashli Babitt, who gave her very life in defense of her right not to wear a mask. Yes, sheContinue reading “Facial Freedom”

Thank you for calling Acme Widget LLC. Your call is very important to us. These are perilous times we live in with COVID, climate change, and the end of democracy. You may not know that the widget industry is under siege due to environmental regulations, OSHA violations, and foreign competition, among other issues. We’d likeContinue reading “Hold On Hold”

“I’m sorry, ma’am. Your daughter died. We did everything…”  “But how can Joleen be dead? I was talking to her just this morning! We talked about making cupcakes for the kids! You know, Justin’s about to have his fifth birthday this coming Friday. He’s SO cute! He’s just AMAZING building those cute little Lego sets.Continue reading “Tiny White Light”

?  Oh, that’s easy. It’s all about me.   ?  Because without me, nothing exists. It’s true for you, too. It’s true for everybody. There’s been all kinds of incomprehensible philosophical treatises written about this very thing, but remember – without me, there is no philosophy. It’s just a way to while away the time and get depressed, if you ask me.  ?  No, not selfish. WithoutContinue reading “Questions Answered”

Joleen texted Darlene about what do with her hair. A single strand of white hair sprouted right down the middle of her black bob hairdo. Sitting across her in his Barcalounger, Jack droned on about parallel universes, thinking she was listening. He always thought she listened to him. But Joleen didn’t give a shit about parallel universes. SheContinue reading “Universes Big and Small”

Joleen stood in the kitchen staring at a knife she just picked up, searching her mind for why she had a knife in her hand. I know there’s a reason I’m holding this knife, there must be. What was it? Oh well, maybe I needed to slice some bread. That’s probably it. Wait a minute –Continue reading “Forgot”