Mr. Diddywadiddy

Hi! First time on Plenty of Fish. I’m Mr. Diddywadiddy. I’m Looking for a short woman. Really short. Must be no taller than 4’11’’ and no shorter than 4’4’’. I want to hear from you! 

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Cuddly Cup: Mr. Diddywadiddy, I wish someone could tell me what diddywadiddy means. Can you?  

Dear Cuddly Cup: It’s a great big mystery and it sure is worrying me. I was hoping you could tell me.  

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Tiny Dancer: Mr. Diddywadiddy, I’m a little gal about four foot four, come on, poppa, now give me some more your diddywadiddy. Ok? 

Dear Tiny Dancer: I’d like to, but I wish somebody would tell me what diddywadiddy means. 

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Barely There: Mr. Diddywadiddy, I’m 5 feet tall. Does that count?  

Dear Barely There: What? Are you from the land of giants? 

Barely There: Oh really? Just how tall are you, big guy? 

Dear Barely There: Six foot six. 

Barely There: Six foot six??? Why do you want to be with short women? 

Dear Barely There: Well, my favorite book of all time is Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. Also, so little women can have someone to look up to. 

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Sister Short: Mr. Diddywadiddy! I declare! I must have sat next to you at church last Sunday. I didn’t see your hat there by you on the seat and I sat on it! Mercy! 

Dear Sister Short: Yes ma’am, you did. I’ll never forget it – you turned to me, blushing, and said “Daddy, you sure is sweet!”  

Sister Short: I do declare, I don’t know what came over me! A tall, handsome man! But too bad. You said, “I’ll soon be gone, just give me that thing you’re sitting on.” Then you hotfoot out of church because the pastor said you talk about diddywadiddy too much. 

Dear Sister Short: That’s right, I hotfoot out of church alright. I just wish somebody would tell me what diddywadiddy means. 

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Luckily, Mr.  Diddywadiddy finally met his match on Plenty of Fish, a four foot eight Italian woman who went by Gotta No Body. He married her because she was the one who finally told him what diddywadiddy means. And all throughout their long marriage, she looked up to him. 

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This little diddie wah diddie story was inspired by the song “Diddie Wah Diddie”, recorded in 1929 by Arthur “Blind” Blake. 

Published by clackker@gmail.com

I write short stories - usually about a thousand words, more or less - for my pleasure, and yours.

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